The Trouble with Symmetry
by PhoenixedDragon
Summary: How many piercings does Gajeel have on that little sexy body of his? A perfectly valid question Mirajane poses. Levy knows the answer—it's thirty-three. But she also says he's a "fan" of symmetry, and thirty-three is not an even number, which could only lead any rational perverted mind (and all of Fairy Tail) to one conclusion. Gajeel must have pierced his... (full summary inside)


Hello, everyone!  
Finally, I feel happy with this GaLe one-shot. It's sort of crazy, and perhaps a little OOC, but I had too much fun writing it to actually care. I hope you enjoy it.

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Summary: How many piercings does Gajeel have on that little sexy body of his? A perfectly valid question Mirajane poses. Levy knows the answer—it's thirty-three. But she also says he's a "fan" of symmetry, and thirty-three is not an even number, which could only lead any rational perverted mind (and all of Fairy Tail) to one conclusion. Gajeel must have pierced his...  
And, wait! How does Levy even happen to know that number, again?

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Disclaimer: Fairy Tail belongs to Hiro Mashima.

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"The Trouble with Symmetry"  
One-shot

Levy didn't know how this mess had all started. All she knew was that she was in deep, deep trouble…

It had been a regular morning for her, waking up as usual—showering, eating breakfast, putting the two or three books she was currently reading in her bag, and then heading out to Fairy Tail in the hopes of finding a decent job for team Shadowear. She knew life was always full of surprises, but not that life had chosen today, among every other day, to surprise _her_ in particular. Or like she preferred to see it, torture her for some reason she was completely unaware of. Thus, she hadn't been counting on running into most of the guild's female population when she entered the building, or on Cana sharing out some of what the card mage had proudly labeled "Super Enhancing Happy Juice" with all of them.

Everything seemed perfectly innocent at first, and she had to admit the drink was deliciously addictive. But even now, she couldn't find it in herself to praise the demonic drink—scrumptious as it was—after what it had forced out of her mouth some time later. She hadn't even realized she had said it, and had just gone along with the suddenly dangerous conversation the girls were all having.

Yes, _dangerous_, since they were talking about the men in their lives, and she thoroughly wished to avoid that subject altogether for two main reasons. One, the obvious fact that she personally knew most of the males they were speaking of, which, subsequently, led to reason number two, that she and a certain well-known dragon-slayer they all knew had been secretly seeing each other for almost a month now.

It was hard to explain how the nature of their relationship had changed exactly. One second he had been making fun of her for her shortness, with her yelling at him for being a jerk, and the next he had been kissing her with absolute and unreserved passion, while she responded with equal frantic desire. That was how it was between them—their emotions always bordering on the extremes. It was all or nothing, do or die, and she was perfectly contented with that.

Still, neither of them wanted to make their relationship public just yet. Things were _complicated,_ to put it in simple terms, starting with her two protective teammates, passing through all of their noisy guildmates, and ending with the relationship-obsessed, lover of the art of meddling in other people's romantic lives Mirajane Strauss. However, she knew that everything previously mentioned was mostly an excuse the both of them liked to hide behind. In all honesty, she couldn't deny the secrecy around the whole affair thrilled her, and possessing this inside knowledge no one else had, made her body tingle with naughty anticipation. He had awakened a whole new side of herself she was thoroughly enjoying discovering.

He was, of course, aware of her predilection for this sort of secret rendezvous, and shared the same rapid rush of adrenaline the encounters provoked in her. The secrecy excited them both. So, more than avoiding dealing with their overbearing guildmates, what they wanted was to ride that emotional high for as long as it lasted. They were well aware their little secret wouldn't remain a secret forever, but they would have been lying if they said they were in any hurry to let others in the loop.

Thus, warning bells had definitely chimed loudly in her mind when the girls started speaking more and more about the Fairy Tail men. Indubitably alarmingly, her guildmates had stepped into very dangerous territory. And next thing she knew, the iron dragon-slayer had become the main topic of the conversation and she had started fidgeting uncomfortably in her seat.

This could all end really badly.

"I cannot understand what you are saying, Cana," Lucy Heartfilia, Fairy Tail's one and only celestial spirit mage, proclaimed defensively. And with an overly dramatic shake of her right hand, "There is no way that horrific mess of a mane is remotely attractive, let alone sexy. I can bet he doesn't even know what a comb is!"

The girls laughed at the blond's words, and she watched a few bob their heads in agreement. She smiled covertly to herself. Lucy couldn't be more wrong. The man in question took the best of cares of his hair. He was as proud of his "mane" as of everything else about him. It was soft, and her fingers glided through it as if his hair strands were silk threads. His hair was… _beautiful_. Gajeel would kill her for saying it, but it was true. It was a shame Lucy and the other girls couldn't see it.

But Cana was not ready to leave the dragon-slayer alone any time soon, even if she had desisted from defending her one-woman front on the sexiness of longhaired males. Well, the brunette did have an ally, but voicing her agreement would undoubtedly lead to the untimely discovery of her relationship with the man; so she remained quiet.

"Well, what about those piercings, then! You cannot deny those are at least intriguing," the card mage said, slurring her words.

Boy, were they ever! She would actually go farther than that, and say they were absolutely and undeniably _sexy_. Just the brush of her fingers on his pierced skin sent shivers down her spine. And the feeling intensified a thousand fold when it was his pierced skin touching hers.

Lucy prepared to deny the statement, yet reconsidered midways, leaving her mouth slightly open before gathering her words. "I guess…" the blond let out, averting her gaze to the floor while lowering her voice and using a much more hesitant tone than before. "I guess that's true," she confessed, her cheeks tinting slightly. "I do like the incorrigible bad boys."

Levy grinned, knowing perfectly well there was only _one_ "incorrigible bad boy" the stellar mage had any eyes for, and it was definitely not Gajeel Redfox. Lucy's version came more in the form of destructive, loud, and battle-hungry, pink-haired dragon-slayers. Sadly for her friend, though, the incorrigible bad boy in question was also sort of clueless when it came to matters of the heart. He wasn't an idiot, no. Natsu Dragneel had shown plenty of interest in the female population, but moving from the abstracted idea of a woman to the particular one that was his blond partner was easier said than done. In a word, the boy lacked _experience_. Love was the one battlefield he had never laid a foot on before.

She had to admit, though, things had changed between the two of them in the last few months, but Lucy refused to comment on the matter and Natsu seemed to be purposely hermetic with his own feelings. She just hoped the two of them resolved their problems soon. Pretending nothing had changed or denying their growing feelings for each other only worked for so long; and doing nothing about it could potentially ruin their enviously solid friendship.

With that last wish, Levy's thoughts wandered back to the girls' conversation, which was still, to her outmost dismay, centered in the iron dragon-slayer.

"Well," Mirajane said next, "I've always wanted to know exactly how many piercings he actually has. There are so many! Who knows how many more he's hiding behind those tattered clothes. One can only imagine…" Her comment made most of the women blush, as all of their not-so-innocent imaginations ran wild with the take-over mage's confession… Or by her mental stripping of the dragon-slayer's clothes. _Those bitches!_

"He has thirty-three," Levy answered before she even knew the words were out of her mouth.

There was an abrupt silence after that, and she then noticed all eyes were widely staring at her in disbelief. That was when she realized what she had actually said. Her mouth opened as she tried to form any sort of words to justify herself, letting only uncomfortable giggles escape, and now looking at her guildmates with bright, wide eyes as well.

"And how, _exactly,_ do you know that, Levy-chan?" Lucy finally managed to ask, displaying a glint of amusement in her eyes and showcasing a mischievous grin on her face. That expression foreshadowed trouble; she had seen it more than enough times on Natsu to know precisely what to expect from it. Did her friend even know how much the hyperactive fire dragon-slayer rubbed off on her? Really, it couldn't be _that_ hard…

She shook her head slightly. She had more important matters to deal with than Natsu and Lucy's platonic friendship right now. "Ah, well… You see," she stuttered, playing with her fingers as she slightly backed up in her chair while considering an escape route. "I… Mmm…"

"Yes…" the now thoroughly interested Mirajane said, her upper body pressed forward as she leaned over the bar's counter, her hands holding her chin up expectantly.

That entire scene right there spelled even more dangerous trouble for her. Everyone knew not to mess with Mirajane. Ever. No matter what the issue might be. That woman was a demon disguised as an innocent and caring barmaid. She was the perfect example of the popular saying, "Never judge a book by its cover." Mirajane's book cover looked peaceful and nice, its contents poeticized wrath and fear.

"I just… asked?" Levy mumbled with a low voice, giving her friends a quasi-convincing confident look seconds later.

Truth be told, she hadn't asked. She had counted them herself two weeks ago while lying over his naked chest. But she was _not_ about to tell her friends that.

"And he just… told you?" Lisanna wondered out loud in disbelief, her head slightly tilted sideways inquisitively.

"Ah, yes," she replied, still fretting the possibly all-intrusive questioning to come.

A heavy silence took over after her statement.

"Really?" Cana let out some time later, finally breaking the oppressive silence. Levy held out her breath expectantly for a tensed minute. The card mage then shrugged her shoulders while she downed her shot glass in one gulp. "Oh, well."

She sighed, relieved. The conversation had _once again_ moved away from the danger zone after Cana's statement, and was now heading into green-light territory as it deviated towards the ever-intriguing Laxus Dreyar—the girls' interest switching from the appeal of body piercings to the sexiness behind tattoos. She got comfortable again, relaxing again and drinking some more of that scrumptious drink Cana had brought from who knew where. She didn't care, it was tasty and she was enjoying it.

Next time she chose to pay attention to what the girls were saying, since she had momentarily retired into the confines of her mind to meditate on a way to translate a particularly troublesome text she was currently working on, Juvia was commenting on how "Gray-sama" liked to part his hair in a distinct way so he would get that all-natural-looking finish. Apparently, the man didn't leave his house unless every spiky strand was placed perfectly where he wanted it.

She scoffed, who knew the ice mage cared about his appearance that much? The boy was practically naked most of the time, for crying out loud! And the rest of the time he spent brawling with Natsu or Elfman, or… whoever else was available… or brooding in some corner. At least the guy had quit smoking. Disgusting little death sticks, those were…

Shaking her head again, she drifted back into the conversation. Cana had now chosen to mock Gray for his perfectionist hairstyle, and next thing she knew, she was spilling more troublesome words. "Bah, Gray isn't the only one obsessed with symmetry. Gajeel's the same way," she commented absentmindedly, while waving her left hand dismissively over her head. She caught her mistake quickly, adding, "And so is Droy with keeping his curled updo in place," immediately after. "He has to take at least three hair-gel tubes with him when we leave for a mission. It's ridiculous."

There was a second unsettling silence, and she eyed her friends questioningly. "What?" she asked worriedly, just as her friends burst out laughing moments later. She couldn't help but join them in their pleasurable guffawing, letting a wanton tear leave her right eye in the process.

She let out a deep breath. She had once again dodged a killer torpedo. She hadn't realize she had woken up with suicide impulses that morning, and she would have to truly try her best to keep her words at bay. She knew she could only push her luck so far.

"Who would've known!" Cana let out again in between her laughing splurges, her ass dancing precariously on her seat. It was a miracle the woman hadn't stumble to the floor yet. "I swear I'd pay good money to watch him do that weird thing on his head!" she continued, imitating what she assumed to be man's hand movements over her own head and causing a few more laughs among the women gathered around her.

"Elfman cares about his hair, too!" Lisanna supplied, changing her smile into a demonic smirk as she added, "He spends a fair amount of time looking at himself in the mirror each morning before we leave the house. Especially since he and Evergreen started… _speaking_ more often." Her eyes sparkled with the same flash of deviousness Mirajane's did whenever the subject of romantic relationships came up; and Levy shuddered instinctively, silently sending out her blessings to the poor Strauss male who had to live under the same roof as these two demons.

The conversation kept on going for a few more, short-lived moments of bliss, as she, and everyone else, noticed Lucy had gone strangely quiet. One day she would have to punish her ill-behaved mouth for asking questions she did not want an answer to. "Lu-chan? Is everything okay?"

Levy watched the stellar mage fidget in her seat, debating on whether or not she truly wanted to voice her thoughts. Lucy's actions should have been enough warning for her to realize the blond was about to shoot a pointblank strike. The bright, red blush on the girl's cheeks should have told her to stop her questioning, but then again, her mouth was already repeating her question.

"What's wrong, Lucy?" Cana inquired, wiggling a playful brow at her. "Had too much of the good stuff already?"

"That's not it," Mirajane responded in the blond's stead. "She barely touched it. What are you thinking about, Lucy? You know you can tell us anything, we are your friends," she encouraged.

All of the girls around nodded their heads assertively. But Levy would have to find a way to torture Mirajane and her spirit-enlivening speeches one of these days, since apparently the white-haired mage's words had worked their charm and had warmed Lucy up enough to speak her mind. Damn her, damn her to hell.

Well, as she would realize a moment later, she was _already_ in hell, given that Lucy's question definitely turned the guild into her own private, little slice of hell. Damn Lucy's perceptive and keen mind as well.

"You said Gajeel likes symmetry, right?" the blond inquired hesitantly.

Levy faintly nodded to confirm her previous statement.

"Well," Lucy continued, struggling with her words, "you also said he had thirty-three piercings, no?"

Levy nodded again. She really wanted to know where Lucy was going with this. Yet again, when her friend voiced her real concern, she realized she really, _really_ did not want to know what Lucy's deceivingly innocent (and surprisingly imaginatively accurate) mind was wondering.

"So, where, exactly, is that last thirty-third one at?" the stellar mage finally questioned.

Every last person in the guild echoed a loud gasp after the blond's question, and she realized the entire guild had been listening into their conversation. She should have known the damned curious men would have been eavesdropping on the girls' male gossip. Now, she had to add Natsu's name to her _Who Should Be Sent Flying First Class to the Deep Abyss of Hell for Possessing Enhanced Hearing _list. Damn that pink-haired dragon-slayer for sharing every single word with every other male currently present at the guild. She was still debating whether Gajeel being absent was a blessing in disguise or her own shameful undoing. Only time would tell.

"Ah…" she let out uncomfortably, chuckling forced coughs at random intervals as she felt an overwhelming warmth spread all over her face. She once again began to calculate her escape options. This was _not_ going to end well. _Fuck._

"I mean," Lucy blurted out again, moving her fingers as she demonstrated her mathematic abilities and counted out for the whole guild to know. "He has four over each eye, three on each side of his nose, two on his chin, five on each ear, and four on each forearm," she explained, while Levy bit her lip worriedly and glanced at the guild's door with zealous eyes. "That makes thirty-two. Now, where does the last one go?" she again rephrased her question, making it quite blunt for those slower minds around what her conundrum was. "If he likes symmetry, then, there's only one place he…" she trailed off as her cheeks blazed a flaming red.

"Damn that pervert! What the fuck was he thinking?" Natsu yelled out from somewhere to Levy's right, now slightly enraged himself, since he had witnessed the blond's reaction. Lucy's body's hair had stood up due to her own embarrassment, and the fire dragon-slayer clearly did not enjoy the idea of having men other than himself causing such reactions on his teammate. Perhaps he wasn't that clueless about these matters, after all.

Still… Damn that overprotective dragon-slayer. Levy now wished he would be sent down to the lowest ring of hell inside a high-speed train down a very, very bumpy and curvy track. Wait… a _never-ending_ track. Yes, that was much more fitting. She'd have a front-row seat to the whole thing, of course, and she would laugh each and every time the dragon-slayer's purple face passed by. Wonderful.

Needless to say, the Dragneel's blunt comment had stirred up the guild and flipped off the lid of what was now her own personal Pandora's box. Fab-fucking-ulous.

"Oh, ho, ho, ho!" Cana mocked, wiggling her eyebrows even more suggestively. "Looks like someone has been very busy lately, huh, _Levy_?"

Damn that woman. Damn that obnoxious, explicit drunk to hell. If asked, Levy would probably suggest she was frozen from her waist down, and that a rather large barrel of beer be placed just slightly out of her reach—head open so she could smell the liquor inside. That would teach her to keep her mouth shut… Or just make her suffer endlessly, miserably, and, okay, granted, purposelessly, for having the object of her deepest affection so close, yet so far away. Levy would still like to see it done, though. Could anyone really blame her? She didn't think so.

"Are you for real? Did that Metal-head seriously do… _that_?" Gray now yelled out, suddenly quite conscious of his own nudity and rushing to find his underwear. "Where the fuck are my boxers?" he insisted as he ran dramatically around the guildhall, constantly staring at himself, "I can't keep my—"

Thank Mavis for Juvia and her quick reflexes. His underwear had conveniently slapped him on the face, successfully shutting him up. If Gray had finished his sentence, Levy would have to pursue and punish him for his inappropriateness. No one, and she did mean no one, needed to know the perverted stripper's thoughts on his own body…

"Gah! I will never be able to look at myself and my little buddy the same way!"

Levy cringed—and even if she hadn't seen it, she could bet every female present had mimicked her reaction. Damn that exhibitionist. Damn him and his naked-ass to hell… No, if she thought about it more carefully, to a room with no windows or doors… And a room in which Juvia was locked inside alongside him. Levy mentally laughed maniacally. Yes, that seemed quite fitting…

"Gray-sama shouldn't worry. Juvia has seen him and he is very well endowed."

Levy rolled her eyes, her nails biting into her thighs as they scrunched the edge of her dress. Juvia was way beyond any point of no return, and her mind would forever prove insufficient to conceive an appropriate punishment for the crazily obsessed water mage. The way Juvia's twisted mind worked, she would probably end up liking whatever torturous thought Levy came up with anyways. No point in contributing to her deranged Gray-sama fantasy world.

"Gajeel is man!"

Levy shook her head and sighed. Poor Elfman, bless his soul… He had enough with his two sisters for her to add to his already endangered existence.

"Now, I will do the same to be man too!"

She didn't even have time to process the beyond-explicit curse resounding in her head. Two seconds after he had finished speaking, a beat-up lump resembling the take-over mage lay spread on the guild's floor next to two rabid demons who were hissing angry, inhuman sounds at it.

"Don't you even dare mention such a thing again!" Mirajane in her Sitri Demon Soul warned the unconscious body, while Lisanna in her Tiger Animal Soul form scratched the man's face before she turned into a venomous snake and bit his exposed calf. Hard.

Poor, poor Elfman Strauss. Levy winced. She didn't have the heart to torture him any further. He was already in hell. No need to add to his perils.

"Mmm… How interesting," Freed let out, not noticing the whole guild was now listening to him. "I wonder if he would let me see it?"

Her face blazed a deep, dark red. Damn that curious green-haired pervert! Luckily for her, Laxus had gone ahead of her and knocked him unconscious—

"Or perhaps even _touch_ it?"

Or so she thought…

Her whole body tensed. Apparently, Laxus had not finished the job. Damn that green-haired, adventurous pervert and his good-for-nothing, all-muscle-for-show blond "leader." Damn them both to hell. She didn't particularly cared where they were sent, but she would particularly enjoy the ring in which they sew the sinners' lips together. That would certainly keep the mage's thought-spilling lips sealed tightly…

On second thought, she wished that entire ring be eliminated, given that she would probably end up in the same place herself thanks to her own slipping tongue.

Levy took a deep breath to gather her strength. She looked around the guildhall, noticing Bickslow was about just ready to let his own opinion on the matter be known.

Oh hell, no!

That was the last straw. There was no way in hell she was letting _that_ man, _especially_ that man, comment on Gajeel's thirty-third piercing… Or what they all thought was his thirty-third piercing, for that matter. Fighting her own overwhelming embarrassment, she stood up from her chair. Her entire face was still burning, and she could feel her ears had warmed up significantly. It wouldn't have surprised her if they'd started steaming at some point. Her whole body shaking, she had to search within the deepest part of herself to find her voice.

"Enough!" she yelled. "That's enough!"

That was, indeed, enough to get everyone to look at her. As her eyes circled the guild for the first time after Lucy's… _preoccupying_, for lack of a better word, statement, she found an Erza sitting on the floor in a corner, wrapped around her own arms, rocking herself back and forward with wide eyes, bright red cheeks, and mumbling incoherent thoughts that allowed manic chortles to escape her mouth occasionally. Levy hadn't even noticed her retreating from the group of females. Yet, whatever the Requip mage was imagining, she did not want to know. The redhead's reading habits were more than enough to keep herself far away from that ticking time bomb. There was no need to go probe that woman's mind. She didn't want to be permanently mind-scarred. She was still young and would much rather like to experience all that fun stuff herself and learn it one step at a time… Well, or keep learning it…

"It's not what you think!" she let out again, her cheeks still aflame, and now staring awkwardly at the floor having lost her momentary courage.

"It isn't?" Cana questioned again mockingly and with undeniable suggestiveness. That woman had too much experience for her own good. "You said it yourself, dear Levy. Gajeel likes symmetry, and there's only _one_ place where that man could have kept his symmetry with one single piercing…"

Levy glared at the card mage and her dirty mind. Cana was so wrong, but she still couldn't bring herself to correct her. How? Gajeel would kill her if she opened her mouth again.

Then again, her mouth had other intentions.

"That's not true," she responded faintly, still wondering how she was ever going to get out of this situation.

"Mmm, Levy?" Lucy called her name again faintly. The blond girl was as embarrassed as she herself was. Bless her pure soul. Her friend would surely get her out of this trouble.

"How do you even _know_ where that other one is at? It's clearly out of sight, so he must have shown you, right? I mean… I didn't know you guys were so close…"

Damn that woman! _Why_? Why must her best friend be _that_ freaking perceptive? As if she wasn't already swimming in dangerous waters, Lucy had now showed up with her innocent smile and pushed her into the deep end. She was now drowning, with no way of escape. Like Gray, Lucy should be locked inside a small room with Loke and Taurus… and every other perverted S.O.B who'd ever laid eyes on her. That would teach her… _something_… If not, at least after that traumatic experience, no one would think she was as innocent as she pretended to be.

"Lucy has a point," Mirajane kindly noted.

_Gee, thanks, Mira!_ That woman was going to be the end of her one day. It was already a miracle she hadn't realized about her relationship with the iron dragon-slayer.

"Hold it right there!"

"No! My pure, pure Levy!"

"That asshole has corrupted her mind!"

"And her body!"

No need to even try rationalizing that one. Jet and Droy were definitely present that morning, and they were clearly following the conversation. At this point, she didn't know if she should punish Natsu for his heightened senses some more, or if she should find a not-so-friendly way to deal with her protective teammates. Protective and lip-loosed. She'd have to find a cork to put on those mouths one of these days…

After a second of serious mental debate, she decided on torturing the fire dragon-slayer some more. That asshole was probably the only other person on Earthland who knew she and Gajeel were a couple thanks to that superhuman nose of his. Damn that idiot. What was he playing at right now?

She took a moment to glower at the fire mage, and the man simply grinned back at her while winking his left eye. Bastard! He would _definitely_ pay. Oh, yes, he would pay. But… While she planned an appropriate way to viciously torture the pink-haired mage, she opted for slapping some sense into her teammates later on as well… And on finding them those damned corks.

"So, care to enlighten us?" Cana insisted again.

Was that drunk ever going to give up? Her reputation was slowly being destroyed before her eyes. Sadly for her, she was surrounded by a group of imaginative perverts or extremely perceptive, less-perverted friends (read Lucy), and they were doing a fabulous job at perverting her private life for her. She was glad the master wasn't present or he would have already nose-bled to death. The same went for Wendy, who had left on a mission the day before. Yet, much to the detriment of Romeo's own mental sanity, he hadn't been as lucky as the sky dragon-slayer, and his dazed father wasn't doing anything at all to help his situation.

She really wanted to correct her guildmates' sick and perverted misconception. But if she said something, she'd be injuring Gajeel's most-feared-man reputation, and she didn't want to do that, either. She wasn't even sure how he'd react if she did tell them they were wrong. She was sure he had to be at least slightly embarrassed about that thirty-third piercing, and she didn't want to be the one who caused him to lose face with their guildmates.

"Don't worry, Lucy," Cana continued, throwing her right arm over the blond's shoulders. Said mage had gone completely stiff as if sensing doom. Smart girl. "One day in the future you will appreciate all the great and experienced advice Levy will give you."

Lucy flushed even more; and two seconds after the brunette's statement, Natsu had quickly pushed the drunk woman away from his partner. "There's no way she'll ever need that, Cana," he grunted at the card mage, slipping the blond into his arms while pushing her away from the now guffawing drunk on the floor. Apparently, Natsu Dragneel was not one to have anyone up-do him in _any_ department. Lucy had no idea what she was getting into… Whenever it was that the two of them got into it, that was.

However, Cana's last comment had definitely pushed her over the edge. She couldn't take it anymore; she had to speak. She took a deep breath. "Gajeel has a piercing on his belly-button, you freaking perverts!" she let out, almost yelling with spite, her face matching her anger.

Silence. Absolute and complete, utter silence.

She had done it again. Her tongue had _once again_ slipped a rather embarrassing secret. To top her concern, the iron dragon-slayer had chosen to arrive at that same, exact moment. Was she being punished for something? Had wishing all of her friends into different accommodations in hell earned her this sort of hell on Earthland? Not possible, right?

Boisterous guffawing erupted next. Give it to Natsu Dragneel to be the first to mock his guildmate. "Me-Metal-Head has a girly pie-ercing!" he blurted out in between laughing fits, as he rolled dramatically on the floor unable to contain his amusement.

Gajeel growled, glaring daggers at the fire mage while he approached her. "Fuck off, Salamander. It was a _very_ drunken night, a _really_ long time ago. What can you do? Shit happens," he stated unceremoniously, draping an arm over the bluenette's shoulders once he reached her. "Don't worry about it, Shrimp. I'm not embarrassed. I could care less," he added in a softer tone, his whole attention now focused on Levy.

Cana booed from her spot on the floor, flapping her hands around in a way only a drunk could ever follow, let alone understand. "That's so disappointing!" she let out. "My version was _way_ better… Right Lucy?" she added, scurrying towards the stellar mage and nudging the embarrassed blond with her elbow.

That stopped the fire mage's laughing spree immediately, and had him venomously growling at the card mage again as he returned to Lucy's side. "I said stay out of that, Cana," he warned seriously, glowering at her. His unwavering eyes confirming the threat his words voiced.

Lucy only fidgeted in her spot, still burning bright red and not capable of recovering from the earlier shock. Not to mention, the attention her partner was giving her was not helping her cool down. At all.

Gajeel scoffed. "You're just jealous, Salamander," he taunted, bringing _his_ girl closer as Levy stiffened beside him.

The addressed mage scowled at him, knowing perfectly well he was referring to his relationship—or lack thereof, to be more precise—with the stellar mage. Natsu growled, displeased, but backed off, remaining close to his partner.

"So, what happened?" Mirajane inquired, absolutely intrigued by the situation and missing entirely the sudden antagonism between the two dragon-slayers.

Gajeel rolled his eyes. Of course the demon-woman would be curious to know the details of that evening. He sighed. "It happened shortly after I joined Phantom Lord. Some guy dared me to do it at a tavern, and I did. End of story. It earned me free drinks and food for three months, and the guy had to address me as 'Great Dark Lord Gajeel-sama' every time I showed up."

Suddenly recovered, Lucy snorted. Leave it to Gajeel to get an overtly embarrassing piercing due to some male pride bet. Except for the fire-breathing idiot beside her—who was way too close for comfort right now—he was the only man she knew who would keep that piercing as some sort of trophy to attest for his superior masculinity. _Men_…

"Can we see it?" someone Levy could have sworn sounded a lot like Freed asked.

Gajeel side-smirked as he lifted his shirt, showcasing his perfectly sculpted stomach. As expected, the two-stud piercing decorated his navel. It was nothing extravagant, looking exactly like the ones he had in the rest of his body.

Somehow, Levy found it absolutely sexy on him, and, surprisingly, very masculine… Lucy would probably mock her the day she decided to confide in her about her relationship with Gajeel and on her thoughts on his body jewelry. Then again, the blond liked a guy who prided a mane of spiky _pink_ hair… If Natsu could make pink hair look manly and sexy, as Lucy secretly attested, then Gajeel could make a usually feminine navel piercing look manly and mind-twistingly sexy as well.

"Did it hurt to get all thirty-three of them?" Lisanna asked from the other side of the bar's counter. She was now helping her sister clean the shot glasses the girls had left forgotten.

"Thirty-three?" Gajeel responded, faking confusion. "I have thirty-four," he corrected immediately. "…After all, I am a fan of symmetry." He smirked covertly at Levy to let her know he had heard the entire conversation and had just been waiting for the right time to make his presence known.

The comment had definitely earned him a glare from the girl, and he loved it. It had been the epitome of fun to watch her overwhelmingly embarrassed self try to get out of the situation she had dug herself in. He loved to see every new facet of herself she revealed to him, and he wanted to know all of her completely. Watching from afar had given him the advantage of learning how her fists tensed when she was angry, or how she squirmed when she was uncomfortable, or how the hairs in her body stood up when she was unbelievably embarrassed.

As expected, though, the guild gasped and fell silent again at his admission. Levy blushed a bright red, and the questions she knew were coming exploded from every mouth around her, except for Lucy who was now hiding her flushed face in her partner's chest.

"Did it hurt?"

"Is it really all that?"

"When did you get that one?"

"Did you do it yourself?"

"Can I see it?" (Levy cringed. Freed should _definitely_ be sent to hell rather soon. Like _yesterday_, if she was being completely honest…)

Gajeel just smirked, "Gi hee. That's for me to know and you to find out." And with that, he picked the blue-haired girl up and dropped her over his shoulder, fleeing the guildhall with fast and long steps. She would have to thank him later. She was so embarrassed and befuddled that she didn't even mind his very public manhandling. She ventured to guess he could've slapped her ass right then and there, and she wouldn't have cared. She was _that_ shocked.

As they left, she heard Lucy open her dangerous mouth again, her voice resounding among the chaos that had once again bewitched Fairy Tail, all thanks to Gajeel's latest admission. "Hey, didn't those two just leave together?"

Damn that perceptive woman. How had she even seen them leaving when Natsu had been holding her with every intention of secluding her from everything other than his naked chest? Really! Was there _anything_ that ever escaped her, anything at all? If she had to punish her…

Ah, never mind! She would think which ring of hell was appropriate for her blond friend later. Right now, she had every intention to get busy finding out just where exactly that thirty-fourth piercing lay on Gajeel's body. And from the mischievous glance he had directed at her when her eyes shot up to find his, he seemed to share those same, exact thoughts.

Levy sighed dreamily. Oh, she was in trouble, all right. But she couldn't call herself a Fairy Tail mage if she didn't love to get into all kinds of trouble. It came with the territory, and Gajeel just happened to be her perfectly symmetrical strip of sexily dangerous trouble. Quoting Natsu (who she still needed to torture), she "was all fired up!"

* * *

_**So, how was it? Don't forget to let me know what you all** **thought**.  
_There you have it. I hope you enjoyed it, and it serves as a little something while the next chapter of "The Fire that Binds Us" is ready. I'd say July is a more realistic date for updating. Thanks for reading! :)


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